Fear

I’ve tried to remain optimistic in this journey, and I intend to return to that state of mind, but I just have to tell you, sometimes this is frightening.  I’ll tell you why in this brief blurb.   

Oregon hosts an annual bike tour called Cycle Oregon.

I have never participated, but may one day??  It looks fun, challenging and worthwhile.  Anyway, in 2011 the ride went through Riddle, OR where a gentleman named Mark Bosworth ended up disappearing.  It is a tragic story, more info here charley project: Mark Bosworth.  He still has not been found, and his family has set up a Mark Bosworth Fund to sponsor first-time riders for the week long Cycle Oregon Ride.   This year (2016) the fund sponsored 5 riders.  http://markbosworthfund.org 

Why am I telling you this? 

Because Mark and I share a diagnosis.  From the Charleyproject website:  “Bosworth was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma, a cancer of the blood in 2007.  He underwent chemotherapy and went into remission, but the cancer returned to his eye in 2009, and he had more chemotherapy treatments as well as radiation.  Bosworth had a bone marrow transplant in April 2010 and went into remission afterwards.  At the time of his disappearance, he had been complaining of severe headaches and had been confused and disoriented; his oncologist believes the lymphoma had possibly metastasized in the frontal lobe of his brain.  If this scenario has in fact occurred and the cancer is left untreated, Bosworth will become increasingly confused and then die in a matter of weeks or months.”

Big sigh. 

Mark was 50 years old when diagnosed and in great shape;  I am 52 and in not so great shape, especially with this hernia.    I am scared.  Then today, I read this: Making Promises We Cannot Keep in the New York Times.  

Ok, I’ll stop.  For each downfall, there are equally amazing stories of resilence, and lengthy remissions.  I need to find those too.  Thanks for letting me vent.